Lessons of The Purple Tree

I was cleaning out some old boxes and files in my office last week and came across a picture that one of my elementary school students had made several years ago. It was of a tree.

"Oh-that's cute-a Tree!" you think. However, this was no ordinary tree. It has become my favorite tree- a tree of miracles. A symbol of what I need to remember as a parent, an educator and as a human being.

This is a perfectly majestic, magnificent, magical  Purple  Tree!

Now most would  say...'shouldn't  a middle school child be old enough to know that trees should in fact be colored... 'green'.

So before you rush to judge, and get stuck in conformity and the way things "should" be, let me explain to you that this student was a non-verbal child with autism, and to him, at least that day, trees should be purple.

I remember clearly the day that the students did this activity. A newly hired & well meaning 1:1 aide kept attempting to impose "green" on him, but this student insisted on [his verbal approximation of] "purple". The aide was very flustered and I gently suggested to her to just let him use purple. She asked me how would he ever learn the "right" way to color it if she let him use purple instead of green ?

I pointed out to her that the important thing was to first get him to color-which she sucessfully did. None of us had been able to get him to sit for more than 2 minutes. He hated the smell of crayons and would ultimately peel them, break them into pieces and wind up sliding himself onto the floor, crying.

To many this may not seem so monumental. But to us, his therapist, his mom, and to parents of non-verbal children with autism everywhere, they can appreciate the miracles here....that he asked for purple...that he actually sat still in the chair, drew & colored with other children. That the smell of the crayons did not gag him this time, sending him into sensory overload. That he asked for and shared the crayons...and he left most of the paper on them...that he was engaged, calm and creative and that he completed the activity. This is huge!

This is what makes this Purple Tree so special and so beautiful.

I often see a good amount of rigid thinking and imposed knowledge in educational settings which makes me all the more appreciative that I am able to provide a break from that in the form of creative movement, art & other enrichment activities: to give them a structured activity that still allows for free exploration and creativity; that lets them be children.

I know of preschool and Kindergarten teachers who will not put out puzzles, dolls, play tea sets or art supplies in the classroom because they "make too much mess".  This does them a great disservice. I say, let them make the mess. Let them have fun creating. Be there with them as they mess/create. Messy activities also create a perfect opportunity to teach them about "cleaning up" ! Don't rob the kids of the experience because of a mess-one that can easily be cleaned up.

While lesson plans, structure, ABA, schedules & procedures are absolutely needed and have their place, too many times we are so quick to fence ourselves, our children and our students into compliance & conformity, forgetting the higher skills/lessons that are being learned in the creative 'free play'  process.

Take a moment and think: is it more important that the tree is colored green or that the child is coloring & interacting appropriately? Is it more important that the room is "mess free" or that the child has experiences that teach him to interact & play appropriately? We need to pick our battles more carefully & strike a balance between these worlds, in the best interest of ourselves and the children we are influencing & setting examples for.

So I will suggest that the next time you-or your child wants to color a tree purple, or a cat green, or wear 2 different socks to school, let them. (My daughter's signature fashion statement has become her two different, yet color coordinated socks. Children & adults alike ask to see her socks and I assure you, no harm has come to her because she is not "matched" !)
As my former business partner used to say: "Sometimes we have to get out of our own way" [as a parent, educator or therapist] "and just be with the child-let them lead you to the lesson that needs to be taught."
Let them Play. Let them be children. Let go of how you think things "should" be & let them teach you how to play too.

These are the Lessons of the Purple Tree.

Have a Magical Day!

~Barbara

*Here are a few of my favorite books about colors! Hope you & your child enjoy!