Of Mice & Yoga...

This week I am again reminded that we can only plan loosely when working with kids. They are wired differently, energetic & so spontaneous that we have to stay on our toes & think  'flexibility'.  (And  isn't that part of what yoga is all about?)

I love the way the kids keep me grounded and rooted in the reality that no matter what our "Best Laid Schemes" - lessons & plans are as a 'teacher' - whether a yoga teacher or academic one - there is a really good chance that the kids will 'miss the point' and create their own lesson in spite of our good intentions. We have to let go of  the outcome we think we want-and embrace the one we actually get. (This would fall under "non-attachment").

Today gave me one of those moments-and instead of teaching ideas & leading young minds to answers, I found more questions.

So I have been working with a wonderful family providing private yoga classes for 2 children. Our main focus has been reducing anxiety & using calming techniques along with postures that release body tension. I have put together a customized program using themes and characters that 'Zack' - 7 years old- likes & relates to.

I was very pleased with the work I had done- creating a story and activities & games around his favorite topic: Star Wars. He loved it and was very excited at the idea of travelling to stars and planets - as he learns yoga. I modified the story so that I would not be emphasizing the "Wars" part: there were Peaceful solutions & outcomes, and no battles only "challenges" and so on.

Today was another exciting adventure. We talked about what to take with us on our "Star Quest"-popcorn, pillow pets, blankies and, of course a Ray Gun (I did not judge him or censor him- but he assured me it was only for protection.)

As we landed our aircraft on a strange new surface-(sand, water, lighthouses...) we realized we were on planet Earth and at the beach. We also saw surfers, jellyfish, dolphins and an array of other creatures and  things. (So far so good. They were engaged and using their breathing and practicing the postures with me. )

At one point in our story, I introduced a scenario where I was going to guide Zach through the process of using his calming breaths to stay focused so he could overcome a "challenge". (That was my intention.)

The 'problem' was that a shark was swimming in the water nearby-and as soon as I introduced a shark in the water Zach immediately responded by (being silly) jumping up off of his mat, and hiding under a blanket saying "oh no! a shark. he's gonna eat us!!".  

As his mom and I were redirecting him back to the mat and getting him to remember how to breathe to stay calm & think about what to do next in this situation, he suddenly smiled and told us "Its OK-I just blasted him with my Ray Gun!".

So the imaginary shark, no longer posing a threat, was now blasted away into another galaxy-as was my lesson plan, my peaceful breathing techniques and my staged 'teaching moment'. My ego was also blasted & I had no choice but to be humbled.

Clearly, Zach's lesson today was not how to use yoga breathing to handle his anxiety in a tough situation, or how to use the dolphin pose to release tension in his tight shoulders. It was self-preservation, which is also very important to all of us as individuals and as a society.

How as parents & educators do we walk that fine line between teaching kind, peaceful interactions and appropriate self-protection?

While we want to teach children to talk things out & peacefully resolve conflict when they can, I wonder where teaching them to also be prepared, and protect themselves from threatening & dangerous situations fits in? (The Yamas of Yoga texts tell us about "Ahimsa"-non harming-but also that we are allowed to defend ourselves against attackers.)

When children perceive something as a threat, are we doing them more of a dis-service by making them feel badly if they "protect" themselves by force: with a push, a punch-or an imaginary Ray Blaster? Do we really need "Zero Tolerance" policies or to expell a child for making a pretend gun with his fingers or just a little more common sense in looking at & considering each situation as individual and unique?

Today I was suddenly concerned that we as educators are sending mixed messages in emphasizing the "Peace" part too much and the "Protection" part not enough. Is this part the reason that so many kids are falling victim to depression, feel dis-empowered and become bullies or act out violently towards classmates and teachers?

You have to admit, in spite of all the programs in existence and the schools cracking down on violent behavior and inappropriate language, etc. there has still been a steady increase in school violence and bullying to now epidemic proportions. Why is that?

Maybe instead of censoring these imaginary scenarios, we need to let kids start exploring & working through these 'taboo' subjects again through creative play, where it is safe, just as Zach did today. Maybe we have taken an unrealistic stand and have gone overboard with zero tolerance & character education. Both Peace & Conflict are part of life and two sides of the same "Human Nature" coin. Knowing when to employ each is an important life skill not only for self preservation & safety, but for self esteem and self-responsibility. Maybe we need to re-examine this and come up with a better  & less confusing approach.

Maybe Zach has the right idea:  always carry your Ray Gun, just in case. If you ask me, he acted appropriately: he came prepared for anything & when a danger arose, he didn't have to think. His instinct took over & he protected himself, his sister and his mom. (Wouldn't we do the same as parents?)

He has also made his yoga teacher think again. And learn another un-intended lesson.

"The best laid schemes o' mice an' men-(an' this Yoga teacher) go oft awry..."