7 Ways to Show Kids You Love Them

The author & her Daughter
at a 'Relay for Life'  Event

Its been said that children learn what they live. Sometimes we get so caught up in the every day schedules & stresses of life that we forget those little things that show our kids we care.

Kids need to know that they are loved, even if they do not hear "I Love You" every day. When my daughter was younger, she had a hard time understanding that I "work" at my desk at my computer sometimes. It was a bit of a challenge to get her to understand that I was "at work" even though I didn't get in my car and leave the house. I remedied this by writing in "Lauren" time on the big calendar. I stuck to this no matter how tired I was. For many kids, these kinds of  simple actions speak loudest and they respond to interacting & sharing activities with you better than your words. Parents & guardians can be creative & show their kids they love them in many different ways. Remember, you know your children best.

Children personalize everything & what may just be an intense, problem solving frame of mind to you, may appear to be a distant, "you don't love me" mood to them. These seven simple strategies that I would like to share with you today,  will help you reconnect with and reassure your kids that your love is forever & you are always there for them. This week as you go through your daily routines & busy schedules, see how many you can add in.


Positive Discipline/Reinforcement:
Try and understand why a child is exhibiting a behavior, rather than assuming its strictly "non-compliant". Although they rebel and buck against authority, Kids need discipline to feel safe.Use as few words as possible, with an emphasis on the positive words, when correcting your child and non-violent forms of discipline. Keep in mind that its just as important to tell them when they do something correctly as when they make mistakes. Show then how to do better rather than showing them only what they did wrong. Let them understand that its their actions you didn't like-not them. Banish ALL judgments & put-downs from your parenting vocabulary, even if you think its in jest.  Children take these things to heart and remember them, no matter how innocent the intention.


Respond promptly & lovingly:
To your child's questions, requests, physical and emotional needs. When your child is angry, argumentative or in a bad mood, (and even when he's not) give him a hug, cuddle, pat, secret sign or other gesture of affection he favors anytime throughout the day. Respect personal boundaries and try not to embarrass them in front of their friends, as this may make the kids feel upset, rather than cherished. Be ready to listen-stopping what you are doing & looking at the child-and really listen-when he opens up about what's bothering him. Set aside a time of day to do this. (Dinnertime, before bed, etc. )


Set an Example for them to follow:
This is a huge one. Make an extra effort to set a good example at home and in public. Treat others kindly & show your children respect. Don't be afraid to use words like "I'm sorry," "please," and "thank you" on a regular basis and they will follow your lead. My parents were always reluctant to say they were sorry for fear that it was a sign of weakness. Its not. Its a sign of respect, integrity and acknowledgment that you are human. How can we teach our kids to take responsibility for their own actions and learn from their mistakes if we are not willing to do the same? Model the behavior you would like them to exhibit.


Live Healthy:
This is closely related to "Set an Example". Your child's health depends significantly on the Lifestyle you choose to live & the care and guidance you offer. If you take care of yourself, your child is more likely to model that behavior & do the same. Healthy & un-healthy habits are formed in the early years. By taking your child to the doctor when needed, keeping him safe from accidents, teaching him about his own body and how it works, as well as how to be self-reliant in taking care of it, providing a nutritious diet, encouraging movement & exercise throughout childhood, & exposing him to a variety of group activities you help socialize, educate, protect & strengthen his body & mind. By doing these things for yourself, you also do the same for him.


Encourage/Motivate:
One of your most important gifts as a parent is to help your child develop self-reliance which will help build self-esteem. Your child needs your unwavering support & encouragement to discover & develop his strengths. He needs you to believe in him as he learns to believe in himself. Loving him, without conditions or judgment, spending time with him, listening to him, trusting & allowing him to make (guided) choices & re-enforcing his good choices & his accomplishments are all part of this process.


Undivided Attention:
Make plans & make the time to spend some of every day or week with your young child or teen doing something she enjoys. Sometimes we as parents need to let go of our need to control everything, lose the schedules, get out of our own way and just be there with our kids for a bit & have fun with them. Cook with them, read a story, take a dance, karate or yoga class, go to the library, play outside or do any fun activity. Kids love to hear stories about themselves when they were little. Family scrapbooks, pictures and videos are visual reminders of memories which can lead to wonderful bonding talks as a family. As much as I like to unplug from TV and electronics, I also will make time to make some popcorn and sit and watch a movie with my daughter. We are also in the process of building her a website and blog for her new T-shirt Design business. Each night we set aside time for this and I show her the process, answer her questions, listen to her creative ideas & give her my undivided attention.


Just Say it:
I leave my daughter notes on her alarm clock, in her back pack and I text her as she is riding on her bus to school, just to simply say, "I love you". So, find time to just say it! In fact, stop reading and go say it now. If they are at school, write them a note for when they come home. It might be just what they-and what you-need right now.




I would love to add to this list! Tell us how you show your kids you love them, in the comments below.



Contact: barbara@bodylogique.com




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