67 Things I've Learned from Children with Special Needs

Photo: The Rashi School
rashi.org

I've always been drawn to people who are different. Maybe its because I have never felt as though I have quite "fit in" with my classmates, my co-workers and sometimes even my family. I've never really tried hard to 'fit in' though, but rather have tried to understand what makes others tick. I think having those insights has helped me nurture the ability to interact with people who have different abilities, lifestyles, beliefs and various adaptive needs and challenges.

I've been working with children with special needs since I was 14. My first job (outside of babysitting) was in High School with the NJ Commission for the Blind and Visually Impaired. Since that time,  I've worked with children in many different settings. I have observed, asked questions and through a process of trial and error, have learned to adapt everything - from the way I speak to how I teach personal care to how I set up activities & games for peers-for those who need it-for those who are labeled as "different".

The following is a list of the "Pearls of Wisdom" I have gathered throughout the last 34 years of shadowing, teaching and supporting children with special needs. I'd like to share them in the spirit of passing on insight to those new to the field of special education, ABA, OT, PT or Para-education.

These are not in any particular order of importance-nor does it represent a complete list of everything I've learned. I just wrote these down as they came to me. Please feel free to add your own "Pearls" in the comments section below.

• A sense of humor is your most important asset.
• Be ready to throw away the lesson plan & teach from the heart.
• Listen more than you speak.
• When you speak, use as few words as possible.
• Get on the floor and play.
• Its ALL sensory.
• Little things most definitely do count.
• Don't take yourself too seriously.
• If its not working, adapt it.
• Take care of yourself first.
• Not all children can do all things
• All children can do something
• Talking is not the only way to communicate
• There is only "now"-stay in and enjoy the moment.
• Helping a child learn is not the same as making them compliant.
• Take your time. 
• Its OK to have bad days
• Everyday is a new chance to re-commit to your work, your students, your life
• Sometimes, the best thing you can do for as student is to let someone else work with them.
• If something is not working, modify it.
• All children have special needs
• Structure has its place.
• Not everything has to be structured.
• Wherever there is water, there is fun to be had.
• What you think you are teaching and what they learn are two different things.
• There is no box.
• Multitasking is a myth.
• Sometimes you've just got to laugh
• The best way you can help a child is to pay full attention to him
• If something is not working, change it.
• Always carry tissues with you. Someone will need them.
• Sometimes you just need to cry.
• You don't have to have all the answers. You only need to be willing to learn.
• "No" is a reasonable and acceptable answer to give and to receive.
• Ask for help when you need it
• Wear your comfortable shoes to work.
• Don't eat garlic, onions or tuna right before a session with an outspoken 8 year old with sensory needs
• You cannot break down boundaries with force or behavior theories-but with acceptance and gaining trust from your student.
• Be willing to abide by what you expect of your students
• Nothing bad will happen if you wear two different socks. Or shoes.
• "Bad" behavior is a communication. What is the student communicating to you?
• Take one step at a time. Rest between steps.
• There is beauty and innate intelligence inside of everyone.
• Slow progress is still progress.
• Just when you think you have have something figured out-a student shows you to think again.
• Your students are your teachers.
• "Fair" means everyone has what they need, rather than the same as what everyone else has.
• In order to learn, first you have to fail.
• Failing is not the worst thing that can happen.
• The thing that will encourage - or discourage a student the most is her teacher's attitude.
• Its not about numbers, or labels or "the schedule" -  its about connection.
• Its not what you are teaching but the way you 'package' and deliver it that will help the student most
• There is no 'typical'
• No matter how much awareness there is, in some cases, the world will not adjust to the student. We must also teach children how to adjust to the world. 
• Children want to please us. They are not purposefully defiant.
• Children crave foods for a reason.
• Always keep yourself & your students hydrated.
• Teachers, therapists, parents, administrations are all on the SAME side.
• Continuing to do something for a child that they can do for themselves only makes them helpless and dependent.
• Children can sense your moods and will respond in kind-leave your personal problems at home.
• Look at the world through the child's eyes.
• There are many ways to adapt and modify & accommodate a student who needs us to.
• Common sense & intuition can sometimes trump what "experts" say.
• Be spontaneous.
• Be quiet.
• Give and receive love-and hugs- freely. and often.
• There will always be something new for you to learn.
• Eat more animal crackers.