Three Questions

Photo: "The Three Questions" by Jon Muth

"Mom, spending the weekend in the hospital really changes the way you look at and think about things. There were so many people in pain-in their bodies and in their minds... and then the lady in the bed next to Nonnie ['grandmother' in Italian]  was confused and scared and didn't know where she was. She tried to escape and she was yelling at the nurse who was guarding her. She just kept trying to run away. It was so sad I wanted to help her but didn't know how. I wanted to cry for her."

This is what my 12 year old daughter said to me last night after having a falling out with a girl friend (via text messages) over the issue of  "minding one's own business."  Lauren had just come home from visiting her grandmother in the hospital over the weekend (Her dad's mother is having triple bypass surgery on this week.) and began this discussion unprompted after her friend told her that she did something on my daughter's behalf, without asking my daughter's permission.

"What hurts most is that she [her friend] knew where I was all weekend and she didn't even ask me once how Nonnie was feeling...she just started telling me about herself and what she did this weekend - and then she got mad at me for being mad at her for not asking my permission...UGH!! "

Lauren added: "Mom, I'm so tired of the arguing and the girl drama... If everyone [her classmates] would just stay out of what isn't their business and stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and saying, and if they could just show a little more care and respect for themselves and each other, then none of us would fight anymore. Everyone would stop stressing over the littlest, stupidest things, and only focus on what's really important."

I was at a loss for words for her, and humbled by her mature observations.

It reminded me of a story I used to tell her, and that I now use for yoga class work. Its called "The Three Questions".

In this adaptation of a a short story by Tolstoy, a young boy looks for the answers to his three questions about how to be a good person. He meets a monkey, a bird, a dog and a turtle and asks them his questions, but finds his answers unexpectedly through doing a heroic good deed.

The Boy's questions are:

• What is the best time to do things?
• Who is the most important person?
• What is the right thing to do?

There are many  themes and lessons in this story, for both young and old and it can be a creative tool for character education & social-emotional learning: to help children understand & remember the most important time, people and reasons that we are all in each other's lives.



Contact: barbara@bodylogique.com