Social Strategies: Goals & Expectations for Play

Photo by Barbara Gini ©2011

I've been writing lesson plans for the upcoming adaptive yoga session with Lisa (KidsPlayWork) that begins later this week. This 8 week series will focus on basic social skills, calming anxiety and  movement sequences to improve concentration.

Its easy to get enthused and caught up in all the things that  we want to teach our students. Yoga is such a versatile and wide reaching activity that its sometimes hard to pick just one or two things to teach each class. Working with children on the spectrum has given me a great opportunity to understand the importance of selecting specific goals & to learn to narrow my focus to objectives that are challenging, obtainable and provide meaningful achievement for each child.

A common question I am asked when working with parents is: "how many skills should I teach at any one time?"

The answer will depend on the ability of the student, but in general, between 1-3 and one at a time is recommended. Any more than three is way too much for everyone involved.

Place a list of one to three learning objectives on your refrigerator or blackboard and focus on helping your child learn each one before the next one is tackled.  The goals should be relevant and meaningful to thechild's daily routines and activities. Some examples:


■ Learning three new vocabulary or spelling words

■ Thinking of three new ways to use vocabulary words

■ Learning how to play with a new toy or game

■ Making 1 new friends

■ Learn how to play with 2 new people

■ Or any combination of new ideas or skills-but remember, 3 is enough

Put a star or a sticker next to the achieved skill so the child can see his or her accomplishment.

You children will most likely learn more than 1-3 things a day, because that is the nature of our Life experiences. Skills, numbers, math facts or vocabulary words that you were teaching last week will naturally work their way into the here and now, presenting an opportunity of reinforcement of learned skills.

If your child seems resistant to learning the set of skills you have chosen, try breaking them down into smaller more meaningful goals, teaching them in a more interesting, fun way or select different skills to work on. Remember that progress is progress, no matter how slow or tedious. Some children witll learn slower than others and that is okay. The important thing is to see progress!

Games

Games are a naturally engaging way to teach children a variety of sensory and social skills. In our group session we use movement games (and modified board games) to teach not only yoga theory and postures, but also health, self-control, social courtesy, character development, problem solving and more.

Lizard Faces
Photo ©2010 Brian Mengini for BodyLogique

Games can be adapted, modified and simplified so that all children can be included in play. (You can always adapt & play games that are easier with any child.) Most kids love "Chase and Tickle" games or "Make a Funny Face" games where they get silly reactions from grownups. "I Spy" games both indoors and out are also a simple way to start to build the foundation of a connection between the players.

Keep in mind, that the reason children with autism have difficulty in social play is often because the play partner is playing at a higher level and the child becomes confused. Start simply-and with pairs or triads (1-3 players) and gradually add more elements & players to games (but not at the same time) as skills are obtained. Many games can be made to be more difficult by adding variations after a specific skill is mastered. (Example: Simon says: stand up. Then Simon says stand on tippy toes....stand on one foot...stand on tippy toes on one foot....etc.) This makes it possible for you to introduce a child to a simple game and then add a challenge to keep them engaged in learning new skills over time.

Competition

A word about competition: many educators, children & those of us in the yoga community have been taught that competition is bad for children and I disagree. While I don't condone behavior that implies that one child is "better than" another, I feel that  if we don't challenge children, and let them overcome and master those challenges, they will not learn. They will not stay motivated to improve their skills and become more independent.

By over-accomodating & taking away challenging, competitive opportunities, we take away the child's chance to interact in a meaningful way. We limit their opportunity to build confidence. Its as if we are saying to them that we don't trust them enough to handle themselves. This is a bad message to send any child, especially one trying to build skills and gain social confidence.

Special Olympics
Photo ©2010, Barbara Gini

If every game we play with them is cooperative, and every game allows everyone to win, we are setting them up for failure & an unrealistic interaction with the rest of the world. Its not very pleasant to think of, but in reality and for the most part, we do not live in a very accommodating society. There are rules and laws that we are expected to abide by, whether or not we agree with them, and there are expected and appropriate behaviors that we follow. Children need to be taught this lovingly, and that sometimes its our turn to 'win' and other times its someone else's turn to 'win'. They need to be taught that winning doesn't make you better than another person, and losing doesn't make you less. I think its much better for them to learn this in a caring, nurturing & supportive environment, with  a teacher, friends or family around them, than from a total stranger, in an environment and situation that is foreign and possibly very scary to them. 

Don't be afraid to use games that encourage cooperation, but also that teach and challenge them to overcome obstacles & do their very best!


Some tips for selecting games:

■ Use simple 'Beginner' Games for children who are not yet verbal or are just learning their first words. Keep the duration short and as few players as possible to start.


■ Use 'Intermediate' Games for children who are putting at least a few words together. Be clear with instructions to build on vocabulary.

■ Use 'Intermediate/Advanced' Games for children who are starting to put sentences together. Facilitate play along side while allowing the players to communicate and apply skills among each other.

Broaden the Experience

When selecting games and activities, we can strive to strike a balance between a child's current interests and helping him broaden those interests to include new experiences. Play can be used creatively and on purpose to expand & broaden interests. A wide mix of different kinds of play allows a child to learn much more than even the most creative play of a single activity. (You might want to consider making a simple video model of the selected game. It is amazing how fast most children learn after watching. )


One of my students was very much into trucks, buses, cars, etc. I was told to not allow him to discuss them or perseverate on them. Instead of censoring him, first I used his love of trucks to gain his trust and then to expand his interests.

Got Large Bugs?

My first session with him I mirrored his play along side of him and let him direct the truck activity.

On the 2nd & subsequent sessions I added interesting and different elements to this 'game'. I brought a bag of huge plastic bugs, and hid them around the room. I told my student that we would definitely play with the trucks, but first we had to find the bugs because they all wanted to go for a ride.  This was not taken well at first, but after a brief discussion & transition phase, he thought this "Hide and Seek" idea made sense, so he played along, a bit reluctantly. We reassured each big bug that he or she would be going to ride on a truck/bus/airplane as soon as we found all the others.This reassurance helped him sustain the activity. I started with 3, and each week I added a few new bugs.

Over the next few weeks, I introduced car, truck, airplane and bug poses, created a yoga sequence just for him and played guessing games with him. We added art (tissue paper mosaic bugs) and then a labyrinth (maze) where he had to get to each bug. The activities became a much better mixture of interactive games and less about the cars and trucks as this child learned to confidently enjoy a variety of activities, movement games & toys.

* In an upcoming post, I will take you through the steps of helping your child set up a sucessful play date.

Tell us in the comments below what types of games you find to be effective  for helping children learn social skills.

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