Respect Every Child, Every Day

This week, my daughter's school is having some standardized testing. I have always told my kids to not be worried about these tests any more than they would a regular spelling or science test. After almost 30 years of parenting, my response to my daughter is even more laid back than it was to my sons when they were her age. I have always encouraged them to simply do their best.

 I understand that most of these tests are designed to measure the school's (translation: 'the teacher's') effectiveness and have nothing to do with or any child's future success in life. My personal sense is that they cause unnecessary stress and burden on students and staff and take away from what the teacher is trying to do in the classroom.

Each day last week my daughter came home with the verbal  list of "tips" staff were giving the kids. They even had an assembly to "go over a few things: "Make sure you eat breakfast; be sure you get enough sleep; bring a bag of peppermints; bring a bottle of water...etc."

Last year, the school administration went so far as to have guidance go into classrooms and teach them *Brain Gym  movements & send home a note that parents were expected to sign with a list of "rules" and "suggestions", among them being "tell your child he/she is awesome..." so that our child can "do well" on this test.

Incidentally, the peppermints are allowed to be eaten during testing as an application of aromatherapy-mint being an herb that is used for its anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and concentration improving properties. All the other days of school the kids are not permitted water, gum or candy in class.

I support educators, I am an advocate for a proper education for all children and adults, and am all for encouraging my kids (and every child) to do their best in every situation, but I have to draw the line when we are told by a school administrator that she should take a shower in the morning so she feels "awake" and "fresh".

Stop already!

Maybe I have missed something, but this is a blatant hypocrisy, disguised as "caring".  It  translates to "disrespect"- for both me and my child. I ask myself if I am the only parent who is irritated by this. Why the sudden interest in children's hydration, amount of sleep, and showering habits the week before standardized testing time? Why do administrators suddenly care whether or not I encourage my child and tell her how loved she is? Why are they so afraid of what those tests scores will reflect?

Part of me takes offense to the invasion into my parent/child relationship and parenting 'technique', and to the manner in which this whole "we want you to do well" routine is only applied when its important to the school. The other part of me understands that some kids don't get the love, attention and care that mine and many others do. Do they really think sending a note home with a "contract" will change that by helping those parents love or encourage their kids any more? Will that suddenly motivate them to be a more involved and attentive parent? Will it really make any difference in that child's life?

This is not the way to help kids succeed. But we know standardized testing is not and was never about helping kids succeed.

Why are we not expected to do that list of things every day for every child? The loved, the unloved and all of those in between?

Kids know when they are being played and they know when they are being used by adults. They can smell insincerity a mile away. If you want cooperation from them, show them respect all of the time, not just when you want something from them. Isn't that what we tell them?

Those of us in positions of authority: educators, administrators, therapists, clergy, yoga teachers, coaches, parents and others, need to hold ourselves to the same standard we expect from the children & students we guide. If we all did, and did it with sincerity & respect, we would not have to use standardized tests to see how effective schools are. We would be able to see the effect very clearly in the actions, interactions and success of all children.

A little respect goes a long way for every child-every day. ~B. Gini



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*Brain Gym: (To clarify, Brain Gym is a series of movements, much like the yoga program I use, that are targeted to help both hemispheres of the brain communicate and work together. The flaw in the school's application of it is that it was done for about 15 minutes and only for testing purposes. Dr. Dennison, the Brain Gym founder, specifically discourages the program being used prescriptively. Its designed to be a daily discipline. In order for ANY brain-based movement program to be effective it needs to be fun, simple and practiced consistently as a group!)


 



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