Self Calming in the Peace Garden

Photo: Anita Martinz

Spring is here and for many families it may be filled with more activity than usual. Families visiting, spring festivals, outdoor events and gatherings are added in to the mix of the regular work, family and personal obligations.

While the approaching spring season and the break from school is a time of outdoor fun, vacation & renewal for some, for others it means more pressure, fuller schedules & new situations to manage.

If you are the parent or family member of a sensory challenged child, not only can the time change, longer days, new activities & events be a bit stressful, but so is the anticipation and concern over how your child might read, transition and respond to the new schedule, warmer temperatures & the break away from peers & educational and therapeutic support.

One of my favorite techniques for counteracting stressful transitions is Imagery. It’s easy and effective and anyone can learn it for personal use without any equipment or extensive training.

Imagery is used by counselors, doctors, athletes and everyday people. It is simply creating a detailed picture  in your mind's imagination. Imagery can be of an object, a word, a place or a situation. We use this simple yet powerful tool all the time without even knowing it to create positive calming images as well as stressful ones. Every time we relay a story about someone who helped us (or who hurt us) we are re-creating that experience in our and other's minds. However we responded to it in real life will be exactly how we (our bodies, minds and emotions) respond to it in imagery. The more frequently we can create and hold calming, positive images in our mind, the calmer and in control we will feel when our world is a little uncertain.

One fourth of the brain is involved in visual processing; more than any other sense. This is why Imagery is such a powerful tool. Seeing something is the best way that we take in information and learn. This is especially true for children. It doesn't matter if we actually see it or if we create an image in our mind's eye. The brain can't tell if its 'real' or imagined & the effect is still the same. Children can use this technique very well once taught.

Imagery can be guided verbally or facilitated with photos & quiet instrumental music. The child can sit on the floor, on a cushion or a comfortable chair or even lie down. Ask the child to close her eyes and listen to her breathing. Speak softly and slowly and allow momentary pauses in between sentences to allow the child to form a picture in her mind.

Here is a simple imagery to get you started:

My Peace Garden:

Close your eyes. Take 3 slow, quiet breaths. We are going to get ready to go on a visit- to a beautiful place that belongs just to you. This visit will take place in your own thoughts and you can go there anytime you want-when you are sad or angry or when things get hectic & you just want to go to a safe place for some quiet time to yourself.
Now, take a big slow breath & imagine that you are walking outside-along a path. It’s a beautiful sunny day and you can see the blue sky, the clouds & hear the rocks and the gravel crunching under your feet.  As you are walking you feel safe & happy !

As you walk a little more you come to a beautiful garden! See this garden in your mind. It has so many beautiful flowers of all of your favorite colors. What colors do you see? Can you small them? There are many butterflies fluttering around in the flowers.  As you walk more into the garden you can see apple, pear and cherry trees and hear colorful birds tweeting in the branches. There are so many kinds of amazing plants and animals!  What kinds of animals do you see? There is also a very special [chair, rock, swing, mushroom, etc] for you to sit on while you are visiting.  As you see all the flowers and all the animals you feel so safe and happy and you know this is a special place! This is your Peace Garden.  Whenever you come here, to relax or to think, you will feel safe, happy, and peaceful.

In a few minutes, it will be time to say goodbye., but remember that you can come back again to your Peace Garden soon for a visit.

Get ready to take a big breath and on the count of 3, you can open your eyes. 1-2-3...


Its important to allow a block of undisturbed time-no cell phones or interruptions. This process should never be rushed. If you decide to do it for 3 minutes that's fine. 30 minutes is also fine. It depends on what the situation is and how long of a break your child needs.

When ending this activity, bring the child gently & gradually out of the imagery or it could have a jarring, unbalancing effect on the child. Have them sit and talk for a few minutes about what they 'saw' in their garden. If they are non-verbal have them color for a few minutes before resuming other activities.

For children with diminished receptive language skills, make a small collage (preferred technique), scrapbook or photo album and include color photos or drawings to set your imagery theme (Example: garden, beach, animals, the woods, etc.) Include a few photos of the child in these places & doing activities. Allow them to look at the images while quiet music plays. Talk to them in a quiet voice about the images and how calm the pictures make them feel.

The best way to learn to guide your child through this process is to practice this yourself first. Children learn from our own example. Be willing to manage your own stress & look for signs of stress in your child. It’s a good idea to introduce imagery at a time when the child is already calm and practice a little bit every day to make ‘calm’ a habit. Teach children to recognize stress too and when they do, go to a quiet place and use this imagination technique before stressful feelings get out of hand.

To learn more about how guided imagery can help you and your child read the Care for Caregivers Blog:

Its All in Your Head: Using Imagery to Improve Health

or contact: barbara@bodylogique.com